A Self Realization

When I was finally done reading Daniel H. Pink’s Drive I realized something about my past. Something that I had only vaguely given thought to before. For well about over a year I had no intrinsic motivation in my life, and it showed. I spent my days irritated, anxious, and exhausted. I didn’t even realize it at the time. I was just getting through the day; I had nothing to devote my time to, nothing to focus myself on, to devote myself or strive to. My grades fell to a level that was uncharacteristic for me, and all the while I thought that I had just been getting lazy. It never occurred to me that I (desperately) needed something else in my life, and it probably still wouldn’t have occurred to me had it not been for Pink’s book.

So all this being said something changed, I finally found that intrinsic motivation. What was it? It was the guitar. The guitar gave me something to focus on, to devote myself to, and to strive for, everything that I lacked then. My behavior improved which was followed by an increase in my grades, and it wasn’t that I was trying any harder it was just that I finally had something for myself. I found myself practicing with every spare moment I had, I would even show up late to class because I spend the minutes between class playing for a few minutes, and my roommates had definitely gotten annoyed by my constant “noise making” at night. It was Pink’s book that helped me to see the intrinsic motivation within myself, and because of this book I know realize that intrinsic motivation isn’t just a bunch of rhetoric because I’ve lived without it, and I can easily say that living without something to devote yourself to life is boring indeed.