Thursday, August 18, 2011

Escape, Leave, Get Away

My motivation to go to college came from the ghetto. I look around where I live and I wonder if that's the way most people live. I see darkness and big blob of hopeless people. I don't understand how people can let things get so badly? How can everyone act as if that area doesn't exist? How can any of those kids get any type of help? I don't know where it came from. I can't remember if my brothers, mom, sisters, or teachers gave it to me. I just know it's in me and I don't think there is a science to explain it. While Pink does explain and obviously proves his science for motivation, it is not the same for me.

I'm motivated because I want a better life, not exactly because I want to control it. I'm motivated because I want to be a better person not exactly because I want to master something. I know that where I'm from most people won't get to even dream. People die. Their murderers are drugs, beer, and guns. Most kids for some reason think that those murderers will help them feel better. For some reason I always hated those murderers. Everything from my surrounding told me I should be friends with them, yet somehow I got away.

I think about all the bad things that happened to me and the worst was my little sister running away. How do you pick yourself up, if everything you did meant nothing to the person you tried to protect the most? How did she fall through the cracks, how come I couldn't help her? All my grades went down and I went for a walk and I cried every night for an entire semester. I couldn't help but blame myself. If I had been more involved in her life and less consumed in my own. How come I couldn't motivate her?

She returned to her home a couple weeks later, but the damage was done. I didn't speak to her for an entire year. I have the problem of shutting people out of my life when they hurt me. I do not let others bring me down no matter what. Yet, I still don't understand how I motivated myself again. Sometimes I think that my will to make sure I leave this state for college is really powerful. But one day I looked at my nephews and I remembered why I started caring. I wanted to give the youth in my family hope. I wanted them to understand that we can get out. Pink never uses escape as a reason to explain motivation. Explanations for motivation may be countless, but Drive doesn't explain it enough for me.


  1. Your neighborhood has served as a reminder to you that you cannot end up like the rest of the people that live around you. I don't believe the way they live is bad and sometimes people don't have a choice but to work their butt off. It seems like you're trying to take too much control of your life and that if you make it out the block then anybody else can. But most people think that they can control what their going to end up to be. Eduardo you have to realize that things might not go as planned but you have to learn how to be flexible so that you don't let a bump on the road ruin your life. I know you're capable of doing it but I just wanted to remind you that life won't get easier once you have your career.

  2. That is very true. I think I understand that I have to be flexible, but to learn something like that you have to experience things. I thank you for your wisdom, and hope that I can apply it to my own life. I know that life may get harder, but it's up to me to make it a happy, hard life. I think to truly understand what you mean I'll have to experience something in my grown up life. And I know wherever life takes us, that we will always stay in contact. When this situation does appear in my life, I will let you know how I react when I do hit that first bump in the rode in my career. As far as Chinquapin goes, I know I've let these bumps get to me and I truly hope I'll be able to let it go. You know I will get through it, but it will take time. I obviously was so embittered that I may not have handled things the best way, but it felt right at the time. Now I know that I do let things get to me and that I didn't expect many of these things. But life always gets better, right?