My motivation to go to college came from the ghetto. I look around where I live and I wonder if that's the way most people live. I see darkness and big blob of hopeless people. I don't understand how people can let things get so badly? How can everyone act as if that area doesn't exist? How can any of those kids get any type of help? I don't know where it came from. I can't remember if my brothers, mom, sisters, or teachers gave it to me. I just know it's in me and I don't think there is a science to explain it. While Pink does explain and obviously proves his science for motivation, it is not the same for me.
I'm motivated because I want a better life, not exactly because I want to control it. I'm motivated because I want to be a better person not exactly because I want to master something. I know that where I'm from most people won't get to even dream. People die. Their murderers are drugs, beer, and guns. Most kids for some reason think that those murderers will help them feel better. For some reason I always hated those murderers. Everything from my surrounding told me I should be friends with them, yet somehow I got away.
I think about all the bad things that happened to me and the worst was my little sister running away. How do you pick yourself up, if everything you did meant nothing to the person you tried to protect the most? How did she fall through the cracks, how come I couldn't help her? All my grades went down and I went for a walk and I cried every night for an entire semester. I couldn't help but blame myself. If I had been more involved in her life and less consumed in my own. How come I couldn't motivate her?
She returned to her home a couple weeks later, but the damage was done. I didn't speak to her for an entire year. I have the problem of shutting people out of my life when they hurt me. I do not let others bring me down no matter what. Yet, I still don't understand how I motivated myself again. Sometimes I think that my will to make sure I leave this state for college is really powerful. But one day I looked at my nephews and I remembered why I started caring. I wanted to give the youth in my family hope. I wanted them to understand that we can get out. Pink never uses escape as a reason to explain motivation. Explanations for motivation may be countless, but Drive doesn't explain it enough for me.