Why is that intrinsic motivation is so difficult for me to discover? With the start of senior year, I've already been more stressed than I have been during finals of any other of the past years. I know that it's this time when intrinsic motivation is a crucial tool to have. Even though I've always been quite lazy, I've somehow managed to actually get things done. Looking back, I can't think of what it was that pushed me.
Bribes work. Bribes in the sense of getting a new phone if you get high grades. But that doesn't always work for me. I've spent so much time trying to find the passion that is supposed to drive me. My motivation has evolved, but not enough to the point to where I have the perfect version.
However, I think I've found what pushes me. I don't want to be a failure in any sense. In the end, I am self-centered. Failing myself is the worst thing I could possibly do. I don't want to fail. I've set a certain standard for myself. I've set the bar high and failure to reach it is complete disappointment. Even though I don't know what I want to do in college or what I want to study, I've always believed that I would succeed. Failure is not going to be my ending result.