Failure

Why is that intrinsic motivation is so difficult for me to discover? With the start of senior year, I've already been more stressed than I have been during finals of any other of the past years. I know that it's this time when intrinsic motivation is a crucial tool to have. Even though I've always been quite lazy, I've somehow managed to actually get things done. Looking back, I can't think of what it was that pushed me.

Bribes work. Bribes in the sense of getting a new phone if you get high grades. But that doesn't always work for me. I've spent so much time trying to find the passion that is supposed to drive me. My motivation has evolved, but not enough to the point to where I have the perfect version.

However, I think I've found what pushes me. I don't want to be a failure in any sense. In the end, I am self-centered. Failing myself is the worst thing I could possibly do. I don't want to fail. I've set a certain standard for myself. I've set the bar high and failure to reach it is complete disappointment. Even though I don't know what I want to do in college or what I want to study, I've always believed that I would succeed. Failure is not going to be my ending result.

Evolving motivation

In Drive, Pink makes the argument that motivation has evolved alongside the course of human evolution. I can't say I completely agree with Pink on this matter, but I can say that my own motivation has evolved.

When I was younger, school was everything to me. I didn't know anything else. I was, and still am in some ways, more reserved that the others around me. This was even more so when I was in elementary school. Of course, my parents emphasized on how I should always do well in school. Grades were all I thought about. Even thinking of how obsessed I was with trying to impress my parents makes me uneasy. I wasn't doing well in school for myself; I was doing it for my parents. My motivation was horribly extrinsic.

As I grew, my motivation evolved. I didn't exactly want to be the best, I just wanted to beat everyone else. Maybe I was just jealous when someone else would do better than I did. But that also changed. I realized that wasn't the way I should be looking at school or anything. So once I found genuinely caring friends, I began to work for them. Not because they made me or pressure me, but because I wanted to. Everyone should have someone or something to be proud of. I wanted to give them someone to be proud of. I worked for self-growth and, in turn, I also became someone to be proud of.

As my motivation evolved even further, I tried my best to emulate the one I looked up to. Not only in grades, but also in attitude. Confidence another thing I have always lack, and by surrounding myself with people who were confident I felt as if I was growing more confident. It's a constant struggle for me to stay motivated for anything. As soon as I "upgrade" my motivation, it soon becomes out-dated. But one thing that keeps me going, even if it's at a slow pace, are the people I look up to. Just being able to see that someone else is motivated rekindles hope within me.

This is what I'm lacking. Now that I'm the senior, I have to be my own motivation. I have to stop relying on the people I look up to, because someone might be looking to me for motivation.

Foreigners

While I was away in Japan, I completely fell in love with the Japanese language. I had chosen to go on a language training program, and it was incredible. Since I had no experience with Japanese beforehand whatsoever, I was thrown into the "absolute beginner" class. My せんせい (sensei - teacher) Rieko was amazing. Her passion for teaching us Japanese reminded me of a lot of some of the teachers (former and current) at Chinquapin.

So, throughout my trip I was straining my mind to think of an idea for this project. While we traveled all around Japan, I, along with the rest of my group, became used to being the only foreigners around. In fact, whenever we would pass by or just so happen to see a foreigner, we would yell "foreigner!". Well, we would yell it just loud enough for the rest of the group to hear it. When we reached the sight-seeing part of the trip in 京都 (Kyoto), we were surrounded by masses of other foreigners. While visiting the Imperial Palace, our tour group was filled with chirping of foreign languages. I would pick out the Spanish and Portuguese while the others in my group would pick out the German, Italian, French, Greek, etc. I thought it was interesting to hear so many different languages being spoken around me. The only thing I had in common with these people was the fact that we all understood English (we were all the English tour).

Then I began to remember how some students weren't all too happy with the fact that our school only offers Spanish as a foreign language. I also thought about how Erick has been self-studying German for around a year now. So, I decided to create my project based off of the desire to learn different languages that aren't Spanish. Not that there is anything wrong with Spanish. Maybe students would enjoy learning a different language or would be interested in self-studying a language. Whatever his or her motivation is, learning a new language is fun, challenging, and becoming bilingual or just multilingual would also benefit in the work world.

While there are benefits to doing all of this, there's always the question of whether or not I (or anyone else) am motivated to actually study. I've always lacked strong intrinsic motivation. My initial thoughts of Drive were that I was going to relate in someway and that would push me forward. But as I read, I didn't feel as if there was much to relate to. I do agree that intrinsic motivation is incredibly important to have. Hopefully I'll be able to find mine before I begin this senior project. But then again, maybe I won't.

Geography determines outcomes

Throughout Guns, Germs, and Steel, Diamond consistantly brings the idea that geography plays a huge role in determining human history. Although he never identifies himself as a geographic determinist, I believe that he is. Diamond emphasizes the fact that neither culture nor genetics have a determining factor in the independent advancement of the human race. What he does mention is how geography becomes what really determines the rate at which humans evolve socially. In particular, one are Diamond bases most of his ideas on is the Fertile Crescent. He also mentions that the axes of continents such as Eurasia also benefit the people around it. An east-west alignment like that of Eurasia which is near the Fertile Crescent was the most prosperous area of its time. In the mind of Diamond, this conclusion makes sense. An east-west alignment gives humans more land that has a similar climate. The Fertile Crescent also provides many nutritious plants. Animal domestication comes more easily once a steady food supply is established. Not to mention Eurasia has an abundance of animals that are likely candidates for domestication. With animal domestication expanding, humans begin to build resistances to the diseases which the animals carry. Years and years of animals developing along side the Europeans give the Europeans a huge advantage. When Europeans begin to conquer new lands, the native peoples stand no chance against these foreign diseases. Not only do these diseases kill off most native populations, but the Europeans also have guns. These weapons take out even more natives and give the Europeans more power to force their values and customs upon them. The point of this is that all of it is possible for the Europeans because they are located in an extremely rich area full of tools (land, plants, animals, minerals, etc.) for the taking. However, places that are isolated, such as Madagascar, Australia, Papua New Guinea, are less fortunate. They are separated from the rest of the world and its advancements. Also, continents such as North and South America and Africa are at a disadvantage because of their axes. Climate and daylight hours vary immensely from northern and southern latitudes. Regions within these continents also vary. Take Africa for example. There's the Sahara Desert and right under are rain forests of the Congo. Diamond takes all these things into consideration when writing his book. Because of this, knowingly or not, he portrays himself a geographical determinist and is guilty as such.

Eurasia's alignment

The alignment of Eurasia had a huge impact on the expansion of the human race. As it is expected, Eurasia's east-west axis made the spread of crops easier. Moving east-west versus north-south has the advantage of having virtually the same lines of latitude, which have similar day lengths and climates. Plants that were domesticated to grow in climates like that of the Fertile Crescent will have a greater chance of prospering in the areas to the east and west of origin. Moving from north-south would have dramatically different results. Plants made to grow in the warmer climate of Mexico would not grow as well as in the cold climates of Alaska. "The plant would also lack genes for resistance to diseases of northern climates, while uselessly carrying genes for resistance to diseases of southern climates," (184). North-south axis varies in climate so much that plants grown in southern latitudes have no chance of germinating in northern latitudes. Humans migrating from Mexico to Alaska would have a difficult time keeping their crops alive. Plants would undoubtedly die of frosts before they had fully matured and were able to produce food. Without enough food to sustain themselves, they would surely begin to die out. And without crops and grains, domesticating animals would be out of the question. Lack of animals means lack of wool, milk, leather and, of course, meat. However, east-west axis provides a similar enough climate and latitude to enable "germination, growth, and disease resistance of plants" to adapt to more easily (184). The east-west alignment was the most important factor in determining civilizations because without the ability to produce enough food to support a large group of people while migrating, humans would not survive, hence civilizations would not exist. Eurasia was an ideal place for a beginning civilization. Because of the Fertile Crescent and all the prosperity that it brought, plants, animals and humans were able to spread out. There is enough land to the east and west with similar enough climate and day lengths that humans were able to adjust with ease. Crops grew just as well in other areas similar to the Fertile Crescent. This is the base enabling humans to maintain large amounts of livestock. And with food comes the a writing system. If people spent all their time hunting and gathering, no one would have time to create a writing system. Overall expansion is the most important. It gives humans more land to prosper in.

Mesoamerican origins

If humans evolved from Mesoamerica, animal domestication would have been dramatically slower. The chart on page 160 shows that the "major five" domesticated animals lived in the Eurasian region. Along side that, humans would have to travel for an even greater period of time to reach the Fertile Crescent.
Beginning from Africa, humans had the great advantage of having many plants and animals nearby. The Fertile Crescent was rich with plants that hunters and gatherers were able to harvest. Eurasia also had many animals that were rich in protein. Had humans evolved from Mesoamerica, the end result would not be the same. Thousands of years would pass by with no sign of settling. Humans would only be able to hunt and gather because of the lack of big game. Animal domestication also has a huge impact of the ability to farm. Not only were the animals found in Eurasia (such as sheep, goats, cows, etc) a great source of food and milk, but they were also a great source of fertilizer. This fertilizer was a valuable source to have when early humans were beginning to farm. The fertilizer made farming easier. Not only did the humans themselves unknowingly begin to domesticate plants, but they were also finding useful tools to grow them faster. However, the lack of these animals in Mesoamerica would mean that humans would spend more time searching for food rather than developing into a greater society. A steady source of food is key to creating a civilization. Along with meat, milk and fertilizer, the Eurasian animals also provide wool and leather. While migrating to a colder climate, these things would have been incredibly useful. Imagine beginning from Mesoamerica and migrating towards Alaska. Warmer clothing would be essential to surviving. Without warm clothing and a steady food supply, humans would undoubtedly die. Although water buffalo were available, I doubt it would be enough to support a large group of people migrating such a long distance. Plants in the Americas also took longer to grow compared to wheat and barely found in the Fertile Crescent. If humans couldn't supply the needed amount of food for themselves, they would certainly not be able to sustain livestock. Humans would not be able to domesticate animals if they had no means of feeding them. The Fertile Crescent provided more than enough grain to sustain humans and their livestock. Since humans originated from African, we were able to take advantage of the animals available to us in order to adapt to the conditions around us. Overall, it would have taken humans much longer to cover all of the world due to the lack of resources. The longer humans remain hunters and gatherers, the longer it would take for functioning societies (as we know them now) to form.