Irrelevant

I've tried and tried to apply the content of Drive to my senior project and myself and I am just about ready to give up. This does not make any sense to me. I've written about how according to Drive the project I want to do will not work. However, I am not convinced. This book isn't for me. None of it makes sense. I have lived my whole life and have done fairly well. What drove me to do so? No, not myself. Everything came from extrinsic motivations: either positive or negative. When people doubt me, I make it goal to prove them wrong. When people help me, I make it a goal to make them proud. I feel that I have never done anything that I wanted because I wanted. I don't feel that I have ever motivated myself. I've heard of the concept before and tried it; but, it wasn't me. The book Drive, instead of aid me, put a big brick wall in my path and confused me. I don't know what to do.